coming to terms

This night wasn’t that different. I found myself displaced, in a hotel that would fit neatly in a true crime podcast. It’s late. I’ve gone for a drive. I’ve followed group chats in which I’ve made myself absent, hermit-like - you see, night here is their morning; even the clock is in on this. I’ve walked, always with my headphones on - you see, they are the key to balance it all. It’s past 3h and I’m finally getting ready for bed. Brush teeth. Charge gear. Alarm set. One final thing, open the curtains. I’ve always enjoyed sleeping with the curtains wide open, as if to not lose track of what is happening, always tethered. That’s when I see it. The diffuse glass catches the light of advertising signs, traffic lights, car headlights and random passers-by, and turns it into a dynamic colourful sight, a surreal landscape trying to mimic an altered state, a world outside mirroring the world within; an auroral cerebralis. For what seems like hours, I sit in silence, on the floor, watching the patterns shift in a quick succession of sun rises/sets. My phone flashes from time to time, that’s the life that continues beyond me. In another timezone. This one, this colourful landscape splayed in front of me, exists in my head. I photograph it, placing myself in it, having found reciprocity in a displaced plane.